- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
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I only chose this career path because I heard there were a lot of hugs. 🥲
I must have learned programming wrong, then, because dear ducking god, the amount of incompetent shit I have to see is surreal.
One system we’ve got from a different state was marketed as having geolocation. It doesn’t. All object relations have to be created manually in a separate page, as in, you register a city, then register an address, THEN, on a different page, you connect the two. Now imagine this for some 24 objects. It has some specific profile permissions hard coded by id (like, only profile with id 4 can create some stuff)
This is just the shit I remember off the top of my head. The cherry on top is that they didn’t validate unique emails for users, you could have 999 users with the same email and no way for them to reset their passwords. I asked why: “we didn’t think about it”
I asked why: “we didn’t think about it”
I have Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz ringing in my ears: “IT’S YOUR JOB!”
This read like a movie review. I love movie reviews.
Don’t watch this movie! Died by the second half. My neighbors called SWAT on me cuz the movie script was that bad, the actors completely unlikable, and the direction almost nonexistent. The CGI was not bad if it was 1990s. There was almost no humorous scenes. Just wet paint dripping dialogue by actors that couldn’t fake an emotion or facial expression to save their life.
Every time a critic dies a little on the inside
Can’t get enough. The opener is always fresh and hilarious
Feel your pain there, my second and longest role was doing automated phone systems(IVR) and sadly Everytime I call another company I hear all of their fuckups
I am still complaining, but now I blame the managers
“wow, what director level ass pushed them so hard that they had to leave that bug in?”
I think of the T-pose all the time in cyberpunk, that was a bug that was horrible but obviously it was tracked somewhere, and some director was like “it’s fine, ship it”
There was a Dead or Alive game in which a manager literally released it before it was ready without consulting with the team. The game was still in beta and a glitchy mess.
The PS2 version of DoA2? I vaguely recall reading about it, also how the Dreamcast version turned out to be the complete one.
Still stuck on FF15. So much time and energy invested in reinventing Unreal Engine… badly. Then they have to attack the corners of the actual story with a hacksaw to push a title seven years in development out the door half baked.
I’m a baby in the FF fandom, 15 was my first ever FF game, although I do know a decent amount due to my mom being a longtime fan since FF6. I found it funny that the game was advertised as “good for newcomers and old fans” cause all I felt was disappointment about my first ever FF game, while my mom sat there pissed thinking about how she wasted money on a day one edition (that we didn’t open till December 2024, lol)
That game… I wanted to like it, but after hearing about how good the previous FFs are, and just knowing how good other JRPG series are, I can’t believe they flopped so hard like that. Good thing is the other games can’t be worse, so that’s nice.
I genuinely enjoyed the early game. It had a lot of promise, the build up of tension was engaging, the world they laid out was exactly the kind of FF7 techno-magical cyberpunk and sorcery mish mash Final Fantasy does well. I loved the characters as they were introduced and was curious to see whether the wanna-be boy band aesthetic would culminate in an FFX-2 style dance battle motif.
But its obvious they just ran out of gas after the first major arc. All that world building up front, but the game completely falls apart after you leave the main continent. By then of the game, you’re literally On Rails after giving you this rich open world to explore for a hundred hours upfront. Tons of buildup but very little payoff. Not what you want in an FF title. I was deeply disappointed in FF13’s Big Hallway style of storytelling, but at least the story paid out in the end.
Learn to code and you’ll wonder how in the hell some bugs even got created
Yes, because you’ll be too busy being infuriated by badly designed user interfaces that you realize could have so easily been better.
At minimum I think it would stop people from calling devs lazy. I don’t code, but even I know for how boring Ubisoft games are, none of them were “lazy” outputs.
Knowing how to code and interacting with stuff like the nintendo e shop scrollimg performance being super shit makes me think I would absolutely be fired if I deployed shit like that in prod for millions of users.
learn to code and you’ll forever more be going “i could probably fix this if i could be fucked to get familiar with the codebase”
Staring at some open source code in horror, like you just flipped to a random page of the Necronomicon.
Become an entomologist and never complain about them ever.
Even flies?
Longtime software dev here. I complain about code bugs all the time - I’m like, who the fuck wrote and tested this piece of crap?
The answer is probably you.
10% of the time its me. 90% of the time it’s me from the past.
No I for sure complain, but for date bugs… I’ll be forgiving
I start to appreciate games that implement complex and sometimes rarely noticeable (immersive, boo) mechanics that come off naturally. And I notice how a thought pattern behind bad ones could’ve progressed.
Bugs? My favs are buggy to the point some of these bugs became their own mechanics. I only get annoyed when the game bores me out, and if bugs can’t make me feel like it, it’s fine. And some better-done games are pretty boring to me.
Put four pots over the squares over the ground.
Shoot the dragon head statues, the pedestals raise.
The pedestals make stone grinding sounds and…
Only one pedestal has raised, the pots have caused the animation to bug out and the game engine to assume that the pedestal is in the final position on the floor.
The floor position has the lever locked.
The game developer never anticipated what a massive idiot I was
Bugs? My favs are buggy to the point some of these bugs became their own mechanics
This is pretty much half of competitive Brood War.
Dying to a stupid bug is a great way to suddenly get frustrated though. Hard agree with you though, buggy games are my favorite. Especially small indie projects because I you can find the great bugs.
Dying to a bug in indie game can be so hilarious some youtubers in niche game communities got their rep from doing compilations of these. Case in point: PhanracK of WH:VT2 fame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGlWiMg3bUg
Have you got some like this to follow?
I don’t know any YouTubers other than “Let’s Game It Out”.
My fav game to speedrun is Neon Boost (free on Steam) because of several bugs I have found in the game. Otherwise a small boring indie platformer about rocket jumping is made fun (to me) through exploitation of its physics.
- Diagonal movement is faster (hold two adjacent directional keys). Sliding makes you even faster.
- Precise rocket jumps can receive more velocity than the developers intended, allowing you to skip many parts.
- You can touch the end of stage goal post from underneath the platform.
- You can wall jump off of the top of walls, allowing for many skips and time saves.
- You can get massive upwards velocity by sliding into a small couple-pixel ridge and jumping precisely once you touch it. This is possible on the starting platforms of all World 1 levels. It basically only improves individual level speedrun records, except on one level where you can skip the whole level and complete it in 1 second (an 9x faster than intended.
My crowning achievement was completing the final level of World 1 (1-12) in 18 seconds. The Devs expected a fastest time around 40 sec.
Instead you report them
Now i complain about both the bugs in my games and the bugs in other games
Tbh, while it is funny out-of-context, I encountered the same exact thing (and I can guaran-fuckin-tee the offender used copilot for this).
It’s not funny to be on the receiving end of this, ESPECIALLY in professional environment, where you should not react like that 😅
But sometimes it’s just what people need to get their shit together. People get too complacent sometimes, and when everyone has to deal with the consequences sometimes a little emphasis on how bad things are is necessary.
I agree, but would like to add I find AI generated code without thought or care put into understanding it more offensive than this to begin with.
